Personally Defining Losses

Why a doula to process loss, grief, and/or death?

Loss comes in so many forms. None of us is spared the experience of grief. My role is to be your companion as you navigate loss and grief as you define and experience it. Yes, my role is primarily an end-of-life doula working with those facing their own death or the death of a loved one. Some people come to death ready, eager for what they believe awaits. Some people believe nothing awaits, that death will bring a peace or freedom we cannot know on the Earth. Some people have pregnancies end when they’d love nothing more for them to continue. Some people end pregnancies in order to be able to continue on themselves. How each person defines what the loss is begins the journey of how they will experience it.

I know the voice inside that says, “I don’t want to do this” when we have to face one of our hardest days. I also know the voice that says “I don’t want to do this alone” if given time and openness to complete the sentence. Our losses can be made harder when they demand we lose independence yet simultaneously reveal how limited our supports are. The grief compounds. The truth I have come to live is that facing loss alone keeps it echoing back in paralyzing ways. We are always moving toward an unchangeable reality together asking: how can I experience death in a way that will not jeopardize what life remains? How can I experience this loss without completely losing myself in the process?

Loss may be death; death may be a loss, but also a beginning, an end, or a change. It will be all of those things for some. So, why might you want a doula? I am a compassionate student of you—attuned to your needs, wants, hopes, and fears as you face what is or will be lost.